Zachary and I are still sick with the cold; but I hope to have us both at the doctor's office in the morning. Last night, Zachary had a tough time; but it wasn't as bad as the others. He has toned down a bit. When Zachary heard the fireworks go off last night, he became angry. He thought a little boy was throwing rocks at our window. Not only at the window, but at our dog. He wanted to call the police on the boy. I never made him understand it was just fireworks. When Zachary gets a belief in his head, no one can make him believe something else...not even the truth. This is another example that he lives in his own world. If it wasn't New Year's Eve, I too would've thought we were under attack also. But, I knew the truth.
So, it is now a little past 8:30 am and Zachary still sleeps sound. Normally, he wakes around 7:30 am. I know he had a tough night and he doesn't feel well. That gives him without a doubt to sleep late. I just want everyone to know he is cared for and he is not in the hospital yet. I know that day is swiftly approaching and it puts the fear in me. It's kinda like judgment day after you die. All the cards are laid out on the table and you have to show your hand even though your opponent knows what you're holding. Scary, right?? I know we can't hide from this and I also know when this day comes, I can't hide him away from getting help because the symptoms will not go away. I wish I could just wake from this bad dream and see Zachary cured by the hands of God. I know, as a believing Christian, not even those miracles take place anymore. I'm still hurting, angry, and scared for my son. One thing I have learned, you live life to the fullest. You do things never done and enjoy all of it. As a former brain surgery patient, I realized how hard it can be to "bounce back". They say it's harder on adults than children. I would think it's the other way around. Why?? Because they are so small. It took me 3 months to come back and I'm still not out of the woods completely. I will have to go back to my doctor also, soon. I, too am experiencing pain in my head for the 4th day in a row and meds are not helping. I hope Zachary isn't hurting like I have been. I do know this, I will be there for him when he needs me the most. Love will get him through all of these difficulties and all of it is found in my heart
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