A mothers cry - journal entry - Dec.1, 2006

This week has been pretty rough for Zachary. The reason why I have made this statement is because as far as his day to day memory goes, to me, it seems to be "wiped clean" unless it pertains to "Kiss". When I stated Zachary is "a 70's child", this is completely true. Let me reword this. Zachary has the spirit of a 12 year old child, growing up in the 70's, which is trapped in a 5 year old body in the present year, 2006. Make sense?? The only interests this child has include, "Kiss" (everything that includes them), and the old cartoons we, as adults, grew up watching. As his mother, I think that is amazing!! I think, "where have you been all my life?" At last, I have a child that shares my common interests!! Today's child shares no common interest in cartoons or the bands (from the past) in which their parents grew up to love. In my mind, without a doubt, Zachary has proven himself "special" in more ways than one.

They say God does things for a reason. It may be to make you a more responsible adult or to teach you a lesson. As far as my life goes, I believe God sent Zachary down to earth to the two most deserving parents in the world. Yes, a child is a "blessing" and a "gift". I feel Zachary is more than just your "everyday gift". The true reason why I believe God gave Zachary to my husband and I is to teach us the most important lesson. The lesson of life and true love. Let me explain. Most people think they know the REAL lesson of life and WHAT true love is. Not to show any disrespect, but I think these people have alot to learn. The lesson of life and "true love" go a bit deeper than that and it has taken me years to actually learn the real meaning. What I have learned about the lesson of life and true love go beyond what the eyes actually see or what you can really feel. What I have learned (through God)from Zachary, is hard to explain. The easiest way to explain this lesson is to look beyond yourself and your life. What do you see?? What do you feel?? The last step of these lessons is learning to let go. This was the hardest thing for me to do; but once I did, I gained strength, patience, compassion.

Now, I'm proud to say, my husband and I are proud graduates from the "school of life". Everyday there is something new to learn and we continue to follow the path to gain more knowledge of each new subject. We are like "students" with neverending homework and Zachary is our teacher on earth. Zachary has "opened our eyes" to other children who are like him and those who are not. Even though we cannot do much for them, we try to make a point to give (whether in person or in prayer). We know Zachary is no longer "alone" in his quest and I just ask that you look into your heart and join him in the most epic battle...SURVIVAL.